I am on such a kick right now with wanting to read funny books about what motherhood is REALLY like. It's messy. It can be exhausting. It can make you wonder where the you who lived before kids went. It can make you sometimes want to sit your screaming, teething toddler on the front porch until she stops crying. (Or is that just me?) But, it's also fantastic and makes you experience more love than you ever realized you were capable of. What's missing from some aspects of Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile's new book, "Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms," is the love part. I am all about gabbing away with my girlfriends, mom, and sisters about the dirty side of motherhood, but underneath it all, it's always clear that we love our children fiercely. I felt parts of this book were far too dirty and a bit mean spirited for my taste.
To be fair, this is a compilation of actual truths that real moms confessed to the authors. And to be fair, some of them are hysterical. Take, for example, the mother who confesses to letting her toddlers eat dog biscuits. HORRIBLE, right? Well....last week, Lily got into our cat's bowl and ate some of it's food. It's not like I FED it to her and it's not like I'm glad she did it, but it happened. And the mom who listens to hip-hop in the car so often that her kids know all the words - even the bad ones. I can see Lily someday knowing every single word to lots of Ani DiFranco music. Oops. There are also some nuggets of wisdom in here that should make us all feel a lot better about the bad days that you KNOW we all have. Things like admitting to being worried about judgement from other moms. And loving your children, but having that love develop over time.
However, there were some "secrets" that I found very disturbing. Secrets that didn't always have to do with children. One woman admits to quitting her birth control and not telling her husband. Not so funny. Some of the mommy secrets are pretty unfunny, too. A woman admits to pinching her child so hard it left a mark. The way it's worded, also, it sounds like it might not have been a one time deal. That's scary. Yet another was too hung over to get out of bed for her daughter's fifth birthday party. You get the idea.
There are kernels of wisdom in this book. But there are also things that really disturbed me. I thought this book was going to be one of those "gab with your girlfriends and laugh about the kids" books, but a great deal of it involved secrets that were more disturbing than funny. For a book pitched as a "funny and feisty compendium..." with "sweet, funny, thoughtful, and strikingly honest" secrets, I wish there would've been more sweet and funny. It DID make me think, though, of how important it is that as moms we're there for each other rather than judging other women's parenting.
On a happier note, Mother Talk is sponsoring a really fun contest! Submit your own dirty little secret (Jess, go ahead and tell everyone you hogtie Ave to clip her nails. You may as well admit it.:) HERE and you could win a $25 Amazon gift certificate. And who wouldn't love that? :)
