Work

On Monday, I put in for a personal day this Friday. We get two days a year that are supposed to be for whatever we want. We've pretty much decided that Friday will be the day we break our match. It is going to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and I really need a week day (while people are actually in the office) to be able to contact our agencies and the other agencies who have our profile. I got to work this morning and had an email waiting from my boss.

It said, "I was sent the form that you submitted requesting a “personal day” on our In-service date. I hesitate to approve this. If you refer to page 70 of the teacher handbook regarding Professional Development Requirement, you see you are required to have 24 hours of In-service every year. It is problematic to take the scheduled in-service days as “personal”. Is this something you could reschedule?"

This person is well aware of the situation we are going through. I emailed back and said "I have to break the match with a child I thought I would have at home by now. I have to unpack a suitcase that I've had ready to go full of tiny baby things. I have to start the search again for a child. I can not be at work on Friday. This is not something I can reschedule."

I know it wasn't personal and she has a job to do. But, it's just one more reminder than people don't GET IT! We're grieving the loss, yet again, of our dream of having a child. We have to go back to waiting and praying for a match, hoping we're deemed "good enough" by a birth mom to raise her child. The total lack of compassion for situations like this is flooring to me. Do you think she would ever ask a pregnant woman to reschedule anything? Doctors appointments, days of rest, etc. NO WAY. I feel like the fact that I've been here every day for the past six weeks while enduring a personal hell should earn me some sort of medal.

I'm so glad to have my blog pals who truly GET IT. Thank you all for your words of support and compassion. I read every single one to my husband, and it truly means the world to us. I know that some day, hopefully soon, every one of you will rejoice with us when we finally do bring our baby home.

But, right now I hate my job and everyone here :)