New Blog

I'm not going to go through and delete all the old posts here yet. For some reason it just makes me so sad. I'm ridiculous when it comes to emotions and sentimentality. It's really bad. Anyway, from now on, I'll be posting at:
http://theygrowinyourheart.wordpress.com/
Some posts will be password protected. I'm going to only PWP posts with pictures and other really personal info in them, but always feel free to contact me at:
theygrowinyourheart@hotmail.com for the password. I'll only ask that you submit a background check and DNA sample. :) Please say you know I'm kidding.

This blog means so much to me, and I really hope you'll take a second and update my new address in your blogroll (if I'm in it) and come visit me at Wordpress!! :)

Blogs, Blogs, and more Blogs

I finished my professional blog, and I know some of you asked if I'd let you know when I did. If you're at all interested in checking it out, just email me at theygrowinyourheart@hotmail.com and I'll send you the link. ALSO, I've been hard at work in building a new blog in WordPress. You can import all posts and pictures AND comments, so that's the way I decided to go. I'm just going to go through and PWP all the picture posts. Of course I'm happy to share the password with all my bloggy pals. I'm going to just take a few more days to try and get my blogroll over there (anyone know if you can import that, too, or do you have to type them all in one by one?) and then I'll post that link here and clear the old posts. That makes me really sad for some reason, but I know it's the right thing to do. As Lily gets older, I want her to have privacy and not be search-able, but I want to still be able to share with this community, so WordPress seems like the answer.

In other random news, Lily is now on medicine for her acid reflux. It was controllable when she was a baby by adding rice cereal to her bottle, but she's a throwing up machine now that she's on whole milk. It's AWFUL! The medicine seems to be working some, but not completely. Any tips on dealing with it? Any of you have AR babies? Such a pleasant, pleasant experience. :)

Sprinkler

We were up visiting my family again this weekend to celebrate my nephew's 2nd birthday. I can't believe he's TWO already! He and Lily had a ball together, and my lovely sister in

law was wonderful and brave enough to carry Lily through the sprinkler. She IS walking now....when she so chooses:) But, she doesn't like the feel of grass on her feet. What can I say; she's a total princess. :) It was such a fun weekend, and these pictures are my new favorites. This is what utter joy looks like. Or being totally freezing. Or both. :)

One more thing

I just finished putting Lily to bed and tonight is the very first night ever that as I was laying her down, she said, "I love you" or well, "Yuh You" before I said it. It brought tears to my eyes. And does again now that I'm typing it. She put her hands on my cheeks, we did our goodnight kiss and she said "Yuh You" before I did. I am sure it's because she knows it's coming, but still. I just experienced one of those amazing parenting moments and I had to get it written down asap. :)

Adoption News and Blog Changes

I am the worst for just leaving everything hanging yesterday, I know it. But, I had yet to sign a contract and didn't want to jump the gun before blabbing away. Contract is signed, and I am so excited to write about this. I am going to begin by saying that this is the ONE time I will blog about this because this is my personal space to vent and express my feelings about life, parenting, IF, adoption, etc. I don't want this blog to ever be seen as a solicitation for business. This is not a professional business blog; it's just mine in all it's glory or lack thereof:)

Having given that disclaimer, I am beginning work immediately with Christian Adoption Consultants as an adoption consultant for couples wanting to adopt domestically. They are the company we used to help us adopt Lily. Basically, they walk you through the adoption process step by step (finding multiple ethical agencies who do not ask for a great deal of money up front, getting your profile created, holding your hand through birth family calls and the scary waiting periods, etc.)and help you do it as quickly, as economically, and as ethically as possible. You all know we adopted Lily in six months start to finish - including our homestudy and a failed match. It was ridiculously quick (though I'll say it didn't feel like it at the time.) And you know I've been kind of looking for some part time work, so when I started talking to the owner and we started talking about the possibility of me doing consulting for them and with couples who sign up with them, it immediately felt right.
It's like my great blog pal, Jess, said to me in an email earlier: adoption just sort of winds itself into your heart. It's so much more to me than just the way we created our family. To be able to work to help other people find the babies they have longed for for so long and to be able to show couples that there is a MUCH better way than to just sit for years on a waiting list is a dream come true. I feel so lucky to get to be able to do this from HOME so that I can still be with my crazy girl during the day is incredible. And like I said, I do NOT in any way want this blog to become a blog about my consulting. But, I can't say enough about our experience adopting Lily. I can't say enough about how kind our agency was to us and how ethically they treated Autumn, so this is my ONE and only post about this, but if you want more information please feel free at any time to leave your email in the comment section here. I will delete the comment to protect your privacy.

So, there's that. In THIS blog's news, I'm pretty sure I'm going to go PWP in the very, very near future. I may even move to WordPress just so I can choose which posts are protected and which aren't. Again, I really want to be able to keep this blog for me, so I am thinking due to my google searches lately and now with me working in the adoption field, I may need a bit more privacy here. Promise you'll come along if I move:)

Funny Girl

Why WOULDN'T you wear your pants on your head is the better question. :) This child makes me laugh so often.

Remember awhile back when I posted about wanting a part time job? Well, I have something adoption-related sort of in the works. I am beyond thrilled about it, and I want to just write and write about it, but I can't just yet. Aren't I so mean to leave you hanging like that? Tomorrow I will probably be able to openly discuss it...and actually I will probably only discuss it once on this blog because I want to keep this blog for my own personal use. I'll probably develop a professional blog also. But, this is a huge part of my life right now, so I want to be able to post about it, but then after I do post about it, I don't want it to seem like I'm soliciting business. So, enough about that for now. I will definitely post about it tomorrow once all my ducks are in a row.

Also, I did the stupidest thing ever today. I was printing some stuff of and had the arm of the printer tray down. I hit it with my face and you wouldn't think it would hurt and burn as badly as it does. I have little scratches on my eyelid and under it. And we're going to a wedding this weekend. Figures, doesn't it? The only real fancy night out I've had in hmmm....well, a dang long time and I have to have a scratched up face. I'm nothing but classy. :)

A Lesson

We took Lily to PetSmart (our version of an indoor zoo:)  It was FAR too hot to take her to the actual zoo) on Sunday.  She loves looking at the animals.  We were walking around and spotting this woman with the tiniest, sweetest puppy ever, so naturally, I had to go over for a closer look.  The man she was with was African American, and the second we got closer to him he said, "Is she mixed?"  And pointed at Lily.  It's the first time anyone has ever asked me.  I told him that she is, and he did this hugely exaggerated look first at me and then at my husband.  We are clearly Caucasian.  It put me immediately on the defensive.  I could feel myself bristling and getting ready to have to stand up for my family and who we are.  I said, "She was adopted."  Heavy accent on the WAS.  It WAS a one time thing.  She is currently just our daughter.  Here I am all ready to defend us and our transracial adoption and then he said, "I wondered if she was.  I was adopted, too."  

Shame on me.  I was so quick to get defensive that I almost missed a really cool conversation with a guy who had grown up as a transracial adoptee.  I know that after dealing with IF and now being an adoptive mom, at times I feel like my decisions are being second guessed or the choices I've made regarding creating a family are being judged, but I think probably 99% of the time, people are just curious.  Or they're in the same boat or know someone who has been in a similar situation.  Or maybe they just like to see happy families, so the looks and the smiles are just in appreciation of our happiness and our beautiful daughter. In my haste to put someone judging us into his place, I became the one who was far too quick to judge.  I need to do better with giving people the benefit of the doubt.  Lesson hopefully learned.  Or at least well on its way! :)

Increased Privacy?

I just googled myself with Lily's name and my blog was the first option. I thought I was being so sneaky by not using my "real" name, but it's there. I changed the email address associated with the blog thinking that might help, but nope. Is there anything I can do to get more privacy other than going password protected? I really don't want to do that, but I don't like the idea of my dentist or someone I went to high school with or someone I go to church with stumbling upon this blog. I like to feel free to express how I feel without feeling like people in my "real" life are peeking in.
Do I have to just get over it or PW protect? Sometimes the Internet is icky. :)

Weekend Fun

Giving cousin Isaiah a big smooch:)

Rockin' out!

First golf cart ride (It's parked; I promise!)

First trip to the county fair! Yee Haw! :)

SOOO sleepy!

We had such a big weekend! We visited my family up north. Lily loves going up and seeing her cousin. It really makes her seem like such a toddler and not a baby to see her playing with him. We took her swimming at my mom's and to the tiny county fair in town. She totally loved the cows and a very nice man even let her pet one. I was a bit nervous, but she is so in love with cows right now; I couldn't say no! :) She was in bed and asleep tonight at 6:30!!! She was just so sleepy from all the festivities. She's got quite the full social calendar, you know :)

We're still on hive patrol. It's really scary. They keep popping up occasionally, but never as bad as they were the first time. We still have no idea what triggers them. She's in her regular surroundings when they come on. No new foods, no new soaps or detergents. It's very strange. Am I being paranoid if I call and check in with the doctor tomorrow? Tell me the truth:)

NO STINKIN' WAY

I swear on all that I have that what I'm about to say is true. Every bit of it.

Lily took her first two steps today. (HOORAY!!) Right in front of the physical therapist. Do you see what I'm telling you? Are you kidding me? She is doing everything in her power to make a fool out of me. :) We about died; what in the world are the chances? Here's what to learn from this: the second you start to worry about your child, call the doctor. It'll cure them immediately. :) And you know, she hasn't tried to walk even once more since then. What a stinker!

She ran her through a huge battery of tests, and it was seriously the most fun ego-stroke we have ever had! :) She is in the 98th percentile as far as social and verbal skills go AND...there is not ONE thing wrong with her legs. The therapist said she's as far away from qualifying for assistance as you can get:) I felt SO happy to hear it; I knew there was nothing wrong with her, but to hear a specialist say it AND have her tell us how bright out daughter is, I don't know if I've ever felt such pride. :)

So that was our morning. And remember how I was going on about how much Lily was sleeping? Well, today there was no nap. At all. Which makes for a bit of a grumpy girl and an even grumpier mommy. At about 3, I noticed a funny rash on her face. By the time my husband had gotten upstairs to see it, it had spread to her arms. I immediately called the doctor and they scheduled us an emergency appointment. So, we rushed into the doctor. We live on five minutes away and by the time we got there, her face was bright red with white raised bumps, her arms and legs were covered with the same rash. I have never been so terrified in my life. Turns out, it was just hives. HIVES? She didn't eat anything different today than she usually eats, we didn't go out anywhere, she sure doesn't have stress in her life. The doctor said sometimes they never know was causes them. We gave her some baby Benadryl and now she's totally fine. No trace of any hive at all. And now she's soundly to bed early (6:55), and I'm taking my first breath of the day. I'm telling you what, I am exhausted. I can't believe all of this has happened in less than 12 hours. :) You can bet I'll be in to look at her multiple times during the night. She's about to give me my own case of hives!

Seriously with the teething

It's a nightmare!! I feel like it's all I blog about, but it's insane! She's now getting all four of her first molars at the same TIME. Her top two have poked through, but the gums are still all puffy and read. The bottoms are just these huge swollen lumps. My poor girl!! She's still in really good spirits, but she's sleeping like crazy. Last night, she was asleep at 7:00 and didn't wake up this morning until 10. I was so excited when I woke up at 8 and she was still sleeping. Still excited to have a cup of coffee while it was still hot. But, then as the clock kept ticking, I got nervous that she wasn't making any noise. So, at 10, I opened her door and wouldn't you know that woke her up. She was perfectly fine; just sleepy! Then, she napped from 1:30-4:30!! And she's back asleep now at 7:30. I'm not complaining, mind you, I cleaned the entire house today and started a new book! :) And now she's asleep in plenty of time for Mommy to watch The Bachelorette. :) But, I do feel sad for her and her little gums!

The PT is coming again tomorrow to make the final assessment about whether or not Lily qualifies for the First Steps program. I'm betting unless they find something seriously wrong with her muscles, she won't qualify. She has to be behind in at least one other area to qualify, and there's no way she is. This girl talks up a storm! She is starting to have conversations, and it's the coolest thing. When I leave the room and come back she says, "Where'd you go?" (more like "where go", but still!) and puts her hands up in a questioning pose:) I tried this afternoon to get her to walk holding my hands and she said, "NO WAY" and plopped herself down. NO WAY. Are you kidding me? That's my sassy girl. :)

My favorite thing about blogging

This is going to be one of "those" super sentimental and touchy feely posts, but I can't help it. Do you know what my absolute favorite thing about being part of this blog community is? It's not being able to vent, although that's fantastic and it's not even having the incredible support of fellow infertiles. I feel like it is the absolute biggest honor to be able to watch families being created. We all have a hard road to get there and no matter how our families come to be, it's so amazing to get to journey through it together and then see these beautiful children added to our group whether through adoption or treatments. (or all of you who got pregnant because you FINALLY relaxed. I'm rolling my eyes with sarcasm, just so you know) It may sound crazy, but I have such a special place in my heart for all the babies of all my Internet pals. And I consider it quite a privilege to get to read about their milestones and the funny things they do and getting to see them grow up right in front of my eyes - it's really fantastic, and I wouldn't trade it.

I have the urge to just list every one of our miracle babies right here, but I know my husband would kill me because he is making dinner tonight (NO JOKE!), and honestly, that's just not something I'm willing to be late for:) So, please give your babies an extra love from me and know I'll be doing the same from you to my silly Lily, and thank you so much for letting me witness the creation of your family or the journey you're still taking to get to your baby. It's truly incredible.

First PT appt

It was a total joke.  I really am starting to wish I had gone with my gut and been firm that Lily is fine and she'll walk when she wants to.  Really, this service is for children with severe disabilities and I hate feeling like I'm wasting their time.  The social worker asked us tons of question like, "Can she sit by herself?" while watching her crawl and pull up and walk along the couch.  I know it's part of her job, but come on! :)  I think we're going to go ahead and have the physical therapist come out and look at her legs, but I know there's nothing wrong.  And today (because she wants to make her mommy look like a total nut case who panics about nothing), Lily took a step.  It wasn't walking by any means, but she put a foot out and put her weight on it.  She then collapsed and put a piece of lint from the floor into her mouth.  I'm so proud. :)