HOPE!

We just got a call from one of the agencies we're working with. They have TWO situation they're showing us to in the next week. One may even be shown today. One woman is due mid April and one is the first of May...that's SOON! I have to remind myself that it may still take a week or even more for the expectant moms to make their decisions, but I'm suddenly filled with so much hope. This CAN happen out of nowhere...and from most of the blogs I read, it happens totally out of nowhere:) Not wanting to get too excited, but it's just a nice little boost on a rainy Monday.

No complaints

Okay, I am a total sap. Truly. Commercials with babies make me cry. At Christmas, the Folgers commercial where the big brother comes home early in the morning for Christmas and the little sister is the only one up and they make coffee for the house...I sniffle. The Chase credit card commercials with the Five for Fighting Song "100 years" that shows which Chase card will suit which time in your life...tears free flow. It's embarrassing, really.
Anyway, the sap in me is a huge sucker for Ty Pennington and "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." The plot is the same every week. They demolish a house, they build a new house, the family comes home and there are tears. The thing that is different is the personal family story. I cry at every single one. Last night, a family's home was destroyed by a tornado. The father is a firefighter and was away from the house during the storm. The mom saved her two little boys' lives but became paralyzed from the waist down. Though I cry at every show, this one really killed me. I can't get it out of my mind. I know what we've been through is tough, and I'm not in any way downplaying the hurt of infertility. But, it's so easy to become so self-absorbed because of it and to feel like nobody hurts the way I do. I think it's the constant cycle monitoring and daily shots, tests, or whatever of infertility. And then the waiting by the phone and checking email a million times a day of adoption. You can't ever step away from it for fear that the ONE second you do, you'll miss an opportunity. Watching this family last night was a big reminder for me. This woman will never walk again. My body is perfectly functional. She has two beautiful sons, but she can't run around and play with them. My someday children may not come from my body, but I'll be able to run and play with them.
Infertility has robbed me of many things. But, I'm starting to become a stronger person because of it. I WILL be a mom someday, and I don't care how it happens. I don't need to give birth to a child; I just need to be able to love one. I'm a very blessed woman, and it's important for me to occasionally dig myself out of my little hole and remember that. Not that it heals the pain, but it helps to see that the pain could be much worse. And it helps to see families like the one on tv last night who has been through sheer hell and have come through it stronger and with more love for each other.
My husband says I'm exactly the target audience of that show:) He says they're manipulating people like me through emotion..and maybe he's right. It does make me want to shop at Sears more because they donate all the stuff for the homes. :)
Happy Monday, all! :)