Facebook - my new addiction

It's ridiculous! I should never, ever have gotten started. I thought My Space was bad -it's nothing compared to how addictive facebook is. My silly sister got me started on it. However, it's gotten me through some rough night hours with Miss Lil being sick. She's still fighting the worst cold, but she keeps on smiling right through it. What a little trooper!

I also caved and finally bought some stuff for her first birthday party. I am so in denial that she's almost a year old already. I found some super cute princess stuff, so I'm looking forward to the decorating if not looking forward to the fact that my baby is growing up so fast! Sorry for the super short post, but I wanted to at least check in and say hi and report that while Lily isn't tons better, she's not any worse! :) Is it summer yet?

Sick baby / sleepy mommy!

I hate being sick myself, but Lily being sick is a million times worse. She woke up two nights ago with a fever and the worst congestion. It came totally out of nowhere! The fever is now low grade and sort of comes and goes with Motrin, but now in addition to the cold, she's having very messy diapers, if you get my drift. We just got back from our pediatrician (whom I love!!! They always make me feel important and like my questions are valid), and she's just got a nasty virus. But, I tell you what, not once has she been a terrible grump. She is the best natured girl! The worst part is the lack of sleep at night. I've been in this phase lately where I've been really missing the tiny baby stages. I miss being able to hold and rock her. BUT, after the past two nights of little sleep, what in the world was I thinking? :) I was terrible at the newborn stuff. The lack of sleep really impacted me in a way I wasn't at all ready for. :) And there's nothing better than the fact that she gives affection now because she wants to. When they're tiny, they'll let you hold and snuggle them, but mostly because they don't do anything else. Now, when she crawls to me and lays her head on my shoulder, it's her choice. I love that!

And thanks so much for some of the tax pointers below. I had totally forgotten we can claim the rest of the amount over the next five years. That makes a huge difference! And I'm so glad you all enjoyed the pictures of my baby enjoying a Miller High Life. :) Happy weekend!

Where, oh where, have I been?

Doing my taxes, that's where. And it sure did stink. I was under the oh-so-wrong impression that the adoption tax credit was fantastic. HA!! You have to make a certain amount of money in the first place in order to get back even close to the 11K the govn. promises. We only qualified for about 2500, which I will take gladly. But, I can't help think that those of us who make FAR less than the 150K or so needed to get the entire refund back, YET paid the same 25K to adopt that the 150K folks did should maybe get that entire amount back - like the 150K -ers might. But who am I to criticize the government, right? :) Here's what Lily thinks of taxes:

She can't take it, either. :)

This girl is all of the sudden a ball of energy. Remember how she wasn't napping at all? Well, now that's she's crawling like a mad woman, she seems to be sleeping all the time! She wears herself out! It's so true that just when you get used to them doing one thing or being on a certain schedule, they go and change on you. :) Her two front top teeth are slowly coming in, too, and it's hilarious how much their looks change when they get teeth. Someone said to me over the weekend how she's losing her little baby looks, and it's so true. It makes me want to cry on one hand that the time goes so quickly and on the other hand, I'm so proud of this little person I'm raising. She is the biggest ham in the entire world. I will not be surprised if she's a performer of some sort. Here is the face she likes to give the camera:

What a goof ball!!! She squints up her eyes and that little nose and gives the biggest cheese smile ever. It's so funny how quickly they learn how to play the camera. She's babbling up a storm, too. And nothing in the entire world has ever made me feel as good as walking into the room, having her little face light up, and watching her crawl as quickly as she can to me and reach up for me with the biggest smile. That's love, my friends. :)

And finally, let me show you what passes for humor in our house:

Yes, that's beer. Yes, my husband thinks that's hilarious. And yes, I did giggle a little bit. She's just reaching for it with such gusto!! Please don't call Child Protective Services on us - we didn't let her drink it or anything. :)

This is why I was never friends with girls in high school

I visit thenest.com pretty regularly. It started when I became wedding obsessed before getting engaged and turned to theknot.com to help with planning all aspects of my wedding. Once I got back from our honeymoon and had that horrible wedding let-down depression that follows for many brides who have put so much time into planning a single event (in hindsight, I wish we had taken the money my parents offered and RUN! Vegas, baby!!:) I turned to the sister sight for married gals - thenest.com. There are boards for every single time of life. Boards for moms of babies of all ages, infertility boards, book discussion boards, travel boards, and even now an election 08 board. This is the board I would like to discuss. :)

I am a political junky. I think that's been established. And I was so excited to find a place with well-educated women who could discuss politics and the election without judging each other, but why is that not possible sometimes when large group of women get together? It makes me so sad. Last night, the conversation on the election board turned from politics and the election to stay at home moms. Why that topic of conversation you ask. Who in the world knows. You wouldn't believe the way some of these women came down on women who stay at home with their children. It bothered me more than I can say. To me, feminism is about having a CHOICE. Women have the freedom now to choose whatever path in life they want. So calling someone archaic because they stay home with their children, to me, is taking a step backwards. The second argument on the board occured when one poster said she had never met a stay home mom who is interesting. Hello stereotypes? Isn't that what all of us tolerant, open-minded people are supposed to avoid? Some of these women pride themselves on being so super-tolerant of all people. There are threads and threads of conversation regarding tolerance and open mindedness. Okay, so you're accepting of everyone but me because I am my child's full time care giver? I just don't get that.

I'll quote here the post entitled "Okay, talk me down: Most of you know my distaste for SAHMs. And yes, I realize it's their choice and bladdy bladdy. I get that.Here's my deal.I've never met one that I really could relate to. That didn't have their world completely revolving around their children, their house, their DH." Distaste for stay at home moms? You are kidding me. The post had many comments - some from stay at home moms arguing their value as a person and others from women supporting this poster's view point. It boggles my mind; it really does. One of my personal favorite responses was, "I'd rather have bamboo chutes stuck under my fingernails than to carry on a conversation about daycare and soap operas." Nice. Why in the world do we do this to each other? These women have the total right to make their own choices. And I was a working woman before Lily was born. But you know what? My career choice doesn't define me. We are far more than just our jobs. I have a Master's Degree. And to that some women on the board responded that women like me who have higher education degrees are marginalized by staying home and are hurting other women who choose their careers because the glass ceiling is harder to break through when employers know women "like me" aren't in their careers for the long haul. Wow. I'm well-educated, and I made the informed decision that was right for me and my family. Why should anyone judge another person for that? And to say just because I stay home, I'm probably not interesting because my world is my child and soap operas? HA. I don't watch soaps. I watch MSNBC almost all day. And so what if I did watch a soap. I'm sure lots of working moms Tivo a soap opera or two. And yes, my child probably is the center of my world. Same goes for women who choose to work outside the home. Working outside the home doesn't mean your child isn't the center of your world. We have to all do what is right for us. My decisions aren't right for every woman and vice versa.

I guess my main point is that I get so disgusted and saddened by the way some women treat other women. Think of the good we could do if we stopped judging and tearing down each other and focused on supporting one another. This community is special that way. It's one thing I am grateful to infertility for (I never thought I'd ever say that!). But, it's something that makes me crazy about being a woman. The men just have a slug fest and get over it. They don't care and don't focus that much on judging each other (this is what my husband believes. I discussed the posts with him last night, and he just shook his head and said, "Girls are dumb." :) I think he's working on a club house out back and will post a big sign that says "No girls allowed." ) Anyway, to wrap it up and step down off my soap box, I am so proud to be a woman. I read all these blogs and feel so amazed at what we have come through and how we've handled it with grace and by never giving up and always supporting each other. Why can't that translate? We need to give each other a break! Well, maybe "we" don't, but THOSE women do! :) Whew...I'm worn out. When do the soaps come on? :)

Hooray! A Snow Day! :)

Okay, I know I stay home with Lily, so it's not like I benefit like I used to through snow days when I taught. However, I still felt giddy and excited when I woke up this morning and school was cancelled. I did feel a second of relief, also, that even if school hadn't been cancelled - I don't have to be anywhere! :) As tough as being a stay at home mom can be some days, I still have little moments of excitement when I remember I get to always set my own schedule. Well, my ten month old dictator sets the schedule often, too. :) But, you know what I mean. :)

Look at the beautiful sight I was met with this morning:

That car's not going anywhere today!! My husband has a fire going in our fireplace, we have a brand new Sopranos dvd that came in the mail from Blockbuster, and I'm pretty sure I have all the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. This is my kind of day! :)

I'm a new woman!

I joined a gym this week!! Well, our Jewish Community Center, actually. But there is an awesome gym there, plus mommy and me classes for Miss Lil and me, an indoor pool, tons of art, theatre, dance classes, etc. The Center is right down the street from us, and I'm very embarassed to say this, but I thought we couldn't join because we're not Jewish. But, it's not that way at all! :) It is so family oriented - a really warm, awesome place. We've been wanting to join for quite some time, but it was tough for us to justify spending the money on it right now - even though it's not super expensive. Staying home was a real adjustment for us financially, but because I am at home so much with Lily, in the end I felt like it was something really important for me to do. It's crucial, I think, for moms to take good care of themselves. It's so easy to give your kids 1,000,000% of what you have because you love them so much, but it's very easy to get burned out and tired and in turn (for me anyway) eat foods that are very bad for you. Now, I'm not saying I'm giving up chocolate. Let's not be crazy!! :) But, I've worked out three times this week, which is three times more than I did last week, so I'm feeling good. PLUS, the childcare there is fantastic and very cheap (only $4 an hour!), so Lily can make some new little friends. She doesn't get any time really with kids other than the nursery at church, but she LOVES little ones, so I know she'll have a great time.

Plus (and I won't lie - this was a huge bonus for me) the Center has THREE outdoor pools for the summer. I can just see myself this summer with my new hot body in a teeny tiny bikini (let me dream, okay! In my dream, I have the body of Heidi Klum, okay?) next to the pool. Okay, reality is I'll be in my very modest tankini playing with a chubby little girl in floaties:) But, I can't wait.

So, my question today is: What do you do that is nice for yourself? Whether you're a new mom or have older kids or are expecting a baby or are dealing with infertility or whatever - we all need to give ourselves little pampering moments - so what do you do? :)

My teething dream *updates about blog template

I had a dream last night that Lily's two top front teeth came in and they were huge. I'm not kidding by huge. They looked like two white chicklets attached to her little gums. Like that scene in Dennis the Menace (the newer movie, not the old show) where he puts two white chicklets in Mr. Wilson's dentures. I love that movie:) I'm not kidding - they were HUGE. And I was horrified by them.

Isn't that terrible? I can't stop giggling about it. And then I feel like a bad mom for having a dream that she had gigantic front teeth. I bet psychologically it's because they've been such a pain for her. Or maybe it's just because I love the movie Dennis the Menace. :)

It was hard for me to decide on a post to follow the tribute to Steve and Mary Ellen. It felt a bit silly to post something so lighthearted following it, but maybe that's what's needed. So, take a minute and picture Miss Lil with her chicklet teeth and have a little chuckle. :)

**I also have to RAVE about the site where I found my template. It's:
http://cutestblogontheblock.blogspot.com/

I'm going to link them from my blog, too. It was the first site I found with simple, easy to follow instructions that didn't require losing your links. I can't say enough about the site! Thanks for all the compliments on my new template! :)

Sylvia, Claire, and Lucy

Mary Ellen and Steve:
I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Please visit them and offer your support.

Ahhh...that's more like it

Thank you so much for all of your suggestions for blog templates. I'm sitting here looking out the window at freezing rain, so I decided to go with something a bit tropical to get me through the winter. Remember how I said Mexico was my "run-away" spot? Well, I changed my mind. These over-water bungalows in Tahiti look pretty darn good. Anyone with me? :)

Don't forget - those of you in Super Tues. states (oh how I wish I was one!), get out there and VOTE!!! :)

New Templates

I need help from you blog-savvy girls. I am so bored with Blogger's templates, and I want a new one! Are there good sites for these that won't get rid of my links? Any recs are greatly appreciated!! :)

Post Placement Letters...yet again

**Update - I appreciate so much every single comment of support, but I want to say a special thank you to Linda for her perspective as a birth mom. It means so much to me to get that point of view. Thanks! :)

I agonize over every single aspect of the post placement packets we sent Autumn. They kill me. I choose each picture so carefully - do I include pictures of us with Lily? What about pictures of her with Santa? Would that make Autumn sad or glad to see that we took her to see Santa? What about pictures of her with other family members?
And then there is the letter. Do I say she's the happiest baby I've ever seen? Would she be glad to know that or sad that she can't experience it? Do I just stick to the basics? She's 25 pounds, 30 inches and loves applesauce and oatmeal? I got tears in my eyes just now typing that. How can I sum up in a few lines what this child is all about? It hurts me a little bit that I know more about her than the woman does who carried her for nine months and gave her the awesome gift of life. I wonder if that bothers Autumn, too. Does she resent that I'm the one telling her about Lily? But then, I am her mother. I do know her better than anyone else. I don't feel bad about that, but I do feel a little guilty writing a light-hearted letter than runs down her vital statistics and closes with a "take care" or "hope you guys are well." I have no idea what she's going through - if she's happy or if these letters even get read. They might get put in a drawer or a closet somewhere for a later date. This is something I never thought I would crave so badly - I want to know that she's okay. I wish I could see her face when she sees the gorgeous, happy, drooly girl that I love so much. It makes me want an open adoption so much - but I know it's her decision. She needs to do what is best for her and her family. All I can do is honor her by being the best mom I can be to our girl and keep praying for Autumn and her family.