On Monday, I put in for a personal day this Friday. We get two days a year that are supposed to be for whatever we want. We've pretty much decided that Friday will be the day we break our match. It is going to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and I really need a week day (while people are actually in the office) to be able to contact our agencies and the other agencies who have our profile. I got to work this morning and had an email waiting from my boss.
It said, "I was sent the form that you submitted requesting a “personal day” on our In-service date. I hesitate to approve this. If you refer to page 70 of the teacher handbook regarding Professional Development Requirement, you see you are required to have 24 hours of In-service every year. It is problematic to take the scheduled in-service days as “personal”. Is this something you could reschedule?"
This person is well aware of the situation we are going through. I emailed back and said "I have to break the match with a child I thought I would have at home by now. I have to unpack a suitcase that I've had ready to go full of tiny baby things. I have to start the search again for a child. I can not be at work on Friday. This is not something I can reschedule."
I know it wasn't personal and she has a job to do. But, it's just one more reminder than people don't GET IT! We're grieving the loss, yet again, of our dream of having a child. We have to go back to waiting and praying for a match, hoping we're deemed "good enough" by a birth mom to raise her child. The total lack of compassion for situations like this is flooring to me. Do you think she would ever ask a pregnant woman to reschedule anything? Doctors appointments, days of rest, etc. NO WAY. I feel like the fact that I've been here every day for the past six weeks while enduring a personal hell should earn me some sort of medal.
I'm so glad to have my blog pals who truly GET IT. Thank you all for your words of support and compassion. I read every single one to my husband, and it truly means the world to us. I know that some day, hopefully soon, every one of you will rejoice with us when we finally do bring our baby home.
But, right now I hate my job and everyone here :)
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Work
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Yes, I get it and I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Last year we had to "break a match" as you phrased it and it stunk. In my mind it was akin to having a miscarriage because I was going to that a baby girl (we named her Kate) and I lost her. I grieved... Take time to grieve, it's important for your overall health.
I'm sorry that your coworkers aren't more understanding. No, people in the 'fertile' world don't quite get it. For them, you just have sex and get pregnant w/a baby. I wish it was that easy.
I'm so sorry for all you have to deal with! My school has been the same way with me. I think you handled it well - No, it can't be rescheduled. Period.
It's just so unfortunate that people DON'T get it.
I'm sorry--and you're right. If it was a pregnant woman, I doubt she would have even asked if the personal day could be rescheduled.
Please keep us updated. Thinking about you two a lot.
Thanks, girls!
That does suck, big time. I'm so sorry. I'm a teacher too. We are allowed 3 personal days we can use "w/out giving a reason." We've never had issues with taking them on in-service days. As long as we get our hours in with other pro days/workshops/etc...we are good.
Ugh, your boss sounds like a wench. You're so right...I'm sure that they would treat a pg lady differently, even though pregnancy is SO MUCH EASIER TO SCHEDULE AROUND than the unknowns of adoption.
Because, you know, you never know. Which is good, and bad.
Hope your coworkers get a clue. Or at least, leave you alone.
You know, it just burns me up how people can be so insensitive sometimes! If you had just had a miscarriage, which is what it must feel like to you, I seriously doubt that anyone would say a word to you about taking a personal day! I'm so sorry that you have ignorant people to deal with on top of everything else.
Can I come down there and smack your boss? Has she got her head up her a$$ or what? I hope she changed her mind and gave you the day off.
I have a number of friends who are teachers and while I know they are limited as to what time they can get off, I have never heard them denied when something of this magnitude arises.
I'm so sorry katd.
This so completely sucks. I want to throw a temper tantrum right here for you. I wish this was easier...hell....I wish a lot of things for you.
Oh good grief! Your boss is an idiot, although it sounds like you work for a school system, and I know they can be a major PAIN about in-service days.
Good grief!
Keep us posted!!!
well, it's Friday evening and I've just read your post. My heart breaks for your loss. I can only imagine the day you've been through, and wanted to make sure you knew that I'm thinking of you on this sad day.
I hope you have a very healing weekend, held close by those who love you.
I've been thinking about you all day. I hope you're doing well, as well as can be expected at this difficult decision.
Post a Comment