I hate to even give this any attention because I don't want to give whoever this person is the satisfaction of knowing he or she bothered me. But, I want to say that it's incredibly cowardly to post horrible comments on someone's blog anonymously. What in the world do you know about me, my life, my daughter, and her birthmother? Nothing at all. Your lack of facts in your comments prove that. My daughter's birthmother was NOT on any medication when she decided to place. She was not coerced in any way and to imply that she didn't make the decision herself is taking away from her strength and courage as a young woman and mother to two young boys who she was struggling to feed when she got pregnant with our daughter. Deciding to place Lily was the hardest thing she has ever or will ever do; I'm sure. And insinuating that she wasn't in the proper mental state to do so is grossly incorrect. How dare you presume anything about her or about us.
I'm sorry to my blog pals and kind readers who have offered me nothing but support, but this makes me shake with fury. I don't want to go password protected because every week I get posts or emails from people new to adoption who feel just a bit less alone because of blogs like mine. But, I also don't want to have to wake up to evil comments, either. I probably should have waited to post until I thought more about all of this, but blogging is my therapy in lots of ways, so I'm not going to censor myself. Is there any way to avoid password protection by disallowing anonymous comments? Can I require people submit an email address? Again, I'm sorry for this little outburst, but it pisses me off so much. I know lots of you have gone PP - any advice on getting these commenters to at least have to be accountable for what they post?
Edit: One more thing I want to make crystal clear. Autumn was in no way, shape or form forced to sign consent 24 hours after the birth. She is the one who scheduled the signing time - not us and not the agency. Utah law says it is legal for a woman to sign 24 hours, but she is not required to. She can sign a year later if she so chooses. Another fact this commenter chose to ignore or skew. That is all I will say about this. I hope:)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Horrible comments
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18 comments:
I'm sorry about the negative comments. I've had a few, but I doubt as many as you since we have not been successful (yet). You can not allow anonymous commenters which means they have to have a blogger account. If you go password protected, I think you know my email?
I agree with Trace. Go with disallowing Anonymous comments. That way people have to sign in to make a comment and you know who is saying what. It may not stop mean comments but at least you will know who is saying them . . .
That is AWFUL. One of the things I love most about your blog is your honesty through your journey. I've got a friend going through a similar situation, and I love reading here for more information.
I agree with Trace and SJ.
Well, just know that your friends in the blogosphere will be waiting for the anonymous poster at the flagpole after school for a little throw down.
Amy
dancingwithinfertility.blogspot.com
My name is Jessica Chadwick and I am from Washington state. I just want you to know I am so sorry that someone would be that mean to someone who is providing a great, loving stable home that someone else picked for their child! That is the best gift your childs BM could EVER give her - her wonderful life. If you go PP please consider allowing me to continue reading and I checking almost daily!!! One day maybe I will be able to share the happy ending to MY story! Much love and support from the Inland northwest!!!
God Bless and Happy Holidays!
Oh Amy, you made me laugh out loud! Thank you for that:) We WILL have a throw down. At the flagpole! :) Thanks everyone for your support!
Ugh, I'm so sorry you had yet another negative commenter. I understand that people will have differing opinions about adoption, but they need to be respectful still...
Hey, good for you! I think you're totally right to speak up for yourself. I don't understand why people leave such stupid comments! I believe you can disallow anonymous comments to your blog. If you do go password protected, please announce in advance so I can be sure to get in on it!
Grrrr - I didn't see the original comment but I've seen some real doozies out there.
I agree with Trace, you can change your settings to not allow any anon posts. You can also set it so that you must approve any posts. Of course, if you go PP, I'll follow!
Well, as you know, I chickened out and went invite only. But disallowing annon comments is a good step if you want to leave you blog public. Also as someone else mentioned using the moderation thing might help, but that still has you reading the awful stuff and probably feeling just as bad but you do take away their feeling of power by not giving them an audience via your blog.
I am sorry that you got hit. There are some people out there with too much time on their hands. They clearly have been hurt in some way if they are lashing out like that, but that's not your problem to endure their wrath.
We love you . . . . and I'm willing to join the team at the flagpole.
(Sorry so long, but that sort of thing really burns me!)
I will join you at the flagpole too! I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. My blog doesn't allow annonmyous comments and i also have sitemeter...it doesn't allow me to know who the person is but I can see where they are located etc...Shame on that person. If you do decide to go private I would love to be included.
I have been following your blog for a long time now. I wish people who did not know anything about adoption would keep their ignorant comments to themselves. These people have no idea how hard it is for the birthmom to make this decision. If you go password protected I hope that you will allow me to continue following your journey.
Sara
My name is Teresa I have just started a new Blog a few days ago as kind of therapy too and because I've always loved writing ., and what has happened to you was exactly my biggest fear !: People making horrible coments and judging.( when They don't really have a clue about what's going on )and "hitting"where it hurts the most .But I've came to realize that this kind of people are just weak and frustrated and They just need to "hurt" so They can feel They have some power
Wow, what'd I miss? Obviously nothing. :)
This is your blog. You post as you see fit. Don't let the inconsiderate igamoes ruin what you enjoy. I say just delete their comments & go on your way. Your blogging to the world, & the unknown, so stupid people are going to read & comment. You can block IP addresses I believe...not sure if Blogger makes IP addresses available.
Now - on to DWTS! LOL! :)
I missed the comment but I can only imagine... I'm so sorry :-(
you're a wonderful mother anybody who reads your blog for two seconds can see that.. and it's very clear how much you care about Autum.....
Holy cow! I never saw the comment, but of course I say we beat them. I mean really. Geesh!
People need to understand that bloggers are people, too, and every adoption is different. Yes, there are crooked things that happen. YES, there is coercion. But not in all/most cases.
Let me at em! :) *GRRRRRRRR*
I hate anti adoption people who have NO CLUE about YOUR HOUSE or YOUR STUFF! PULESE!
Yes, there is room for adoption reform, but ALL ADOPTIONS ARE NOT BAD! EVERYONE IS NOT COERCED! My goodness!
Let the haters come...makes them look more ignorant in the end. A little therapy for them would be good.
ugh.. sorry you had to deal with such a horrible commenter. I hope you can stay a public blog, but I agree, if you go password protected please let us have access so we can continue to read and support you
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