I called the post placement office today just to check on Autumn. She's really been on my mind since Lily's birthday. I know I've said earlier, but I really hoped to hear from her around Lily's birthday. I know she's got to do what's best for her, but I had hoped. Our post placement office hasn't heard from her lately, either. That kills me. I know they'll check on her and see if she wants the latest packet, and I know they'll keep trying, but I'm really sad about it right now. I know open adoption is a case by case thing - it's best for some families and for some birth moms. But, I have times where I really wish we were more open. As I said, Autumn has to do what's best for her family, but it's so hard to have shared something so enormous - the biggest thing I've ever done in my life and to have this amazing, gorgeous little girl whom I am so proud of - I would love to just tell her myself how amazing Lily. I wish I could tell her how funny and smart and beautiful she is. I want her to know how happy Lily is and how happy she has made us. It makes me want to cry.
I know it's still very early and that eventually she may contact us. But, it's funny how many days I still go to the mailbox hoping to hear something from her. Originally, she said she'd write as soon as she got home. But, I know getting home and getting back to her boys, she had to cope the best way she could. If you're a pray-er, please say one tonight for her. :)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Call to our agency
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17 comments:
I can totally relate to your post today - in a way. Our adoption is closed, which most of the time is fine with us. But, there are times we'd like to meet his parents just once so 1 we could meet them, see what they look like, etc, and 2, so we could tell them how well their little boy is doing and what a joy he is to so many people. Praying for you!
I had a friend in high school who I was very close to and she placed a little boy for adoption. It was an open adoption, she picked the family the little boy went to. For the first couple of years, she couldn't see him, it was too hard. Once he hit about 4 or 5, her pain healed and she was able to be a part of his life. In the beginning, she just couldn't do it.
I hope Autumn will come around. She is lucky to have placed Lily with a mother who is so willing to share this information with her. One day, she will realize that. Lily is a lucky girl to have you as her mom. Maybe in time, Autumn will be able to have more contact. If you can send information through the agency, I would say to continue that. When Autumn is ready, she will know that you are willing and that might help things.
I'm praying for you, and for Autumn. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for her, and for you..especially since you want to share how wonderful Lily is.
*hugs*
I am sending prayers your way and to Autumn. Here's hoping, that with time, she'll be ready to make contact. Hang in there!
Aw. I'm so sorry that you haven't gotten any word on/from Autumn. That has to be hard. I know how it feels to not hear from Russ every once and again and that's SO small in comparison.
I find myself surprised at how open I've wanted to be.
I'll say a prayer for Autumn and you guys, too.
KatD, I know exactly how you feel.
It is hard.
You want to share Lily's wonderousness with the only other woman in the world who can appreciate it the way you do.
That is exactly it, Lori. She's the only person in the entire world who would "get" how I feel. That's exactly it.
I'm an adoptive mom of 2. I invite you to visit my blog as well.
I'm really sorry that the openness part of adoption isn't going like you expected/hoped, at least for right now.
We've had some unexpected things come up with Pumpkin's first mom lately, and it is challenging for me.
Every adoptive family and first parent relationship is so SO different. I think I've mostly come to the conculsion that no one can be fully prepared!
All of this to say... I admire and appreciate that you are still pursuing a relationship with Autumn. I imagine that even if she's not ready right now, the fact that you continue to be interested in openness with be meaningful to her (and to Lily) eventually.
I am a pray-er, and I will keep your family (all of you!) in my thoughts and prayers.
I am sorry this is hard.
I will lift Autumn in prayer. May she find strength, courage and peace to contact you and open the door to a reltionship.
it's so great that you want to share that with her. i'll definitely be praying for you and for autumn. and, of course, for lily!
Prayers for you and Autumn, sweet friend!!!
It still is early days yet...you never know what the future may bring!!!
I am a pray-er, and will certainly say one, maybe even a few, for both you and Autumn.
I tagged you :-), see my blog!
We are going through an adoption and we will have a semi open one. We will write letters and send pictures...Not sure how comfortable I am with it yet...My husband was adopted and his was closed, but he has never wanted to search out his birthparents. Thanks for this it is helpful. God Bless!
I know where you are coming from on this. We are lucky because we have contact with L via her mom. At first, our responses were few and far betweenb but now they are coming more frequently.
Hopefully A just needs time to let her heart heal a bit more before she is ready to keep in regular contact. But in time, she will be grateful that you've kept the lines of communication open and feel able to reach out.
Big hugs!
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