I find it so difficult to hang on to my faith through this whole adoption process. There are many things about life that challenge one's faith. I've always only wanted to be a mom. Even growing up, I never had huge career aspirations (other than marrying Jordan Knight...though he was much older, I always thought we could make it work). I have always wanted to have children and stay home with them. Finding out I most likely will not ever carry a child was beyond devastating for me. I want to trust that God has a bigger plan and that He has a child waiting for us, but my faith is often challenged by this horrible waiting.
Sitting in church, though, I always feel calmed. When I make the effort to trust and when I pray, I always feel better.
I want to leave a verse on here that I have attached to my computer with a post-it note.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.
1 Samuel 27
Even if we don't share the same faith, I pray that anyone out there who has lost hope or is discouraged will find some sort of comfort somewhere.
On a happier note, I believe I'm going to attempt to make a gingerbread house today...I'm scared:) I'll post pics later on...if they aren't too embarrassing.
Take care!!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Faith
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2 comments:
Good luck on the Ginger bread house. I tried one last year and it was a horrid failure. I ate it up though.
I am not part of a church and I have such a longing to go to a church but I fear getting involved with people. I know that is strange. I have not been able to explain it. I hope that next year we'll be able to attend at least once a month... it's an interesting "resolution"...
Thanks for posting about faith...
We were just exactly like you! Until about a month ago, I hadn't gone to church in probably three or four years (other than the big holidays). We found a church that has an adoption ministry, and we knew that was the place for us. I don't know how big your city is, but maybe look for something like that where there's a community in place that can help during this crazy time.
Take care!! :)
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