We're definitely going to be shown to this little guy's mom. The agency is only asking for a tiny amount of money up front, which is great. From what I've read online and the responses I've gotten here, I think it's relatively common for a birthfather not to be named. Ohio has a putative father registry, but I'm hearing it's not often used. Our social worker emailed yesterday with this, "Many many of the cases have unknown fathers. It is a risk, but there are many other things that are much higher risks. I know every family wants a smooth and per say"clean" adoption,but that is not very common. Adoption is scary." That doesn't sound reassuring, but it really calmed me down. Adoption IS scary. We all know that. But, we've come through so much pain that I know we can handle whatever comes at us. If this doesn't work out, it'll hurt like the last one hurt. But, it's just one more step on my path to meeting my baby. I will never give up, and I won't let anything slow me down. Our social worker also said that maybe we should stop and take time to heal from our recent disruption, but that won't make me feel better. Remembering the excitement of preparing for a baby and focusing on the fact that our baby WILL be here someday (maybe in a few weeks!) is what heals me.
I'm going to be sappy again, like always, but I just love you girls! I can't tell you what this blog and what this community has meant to me throughout this journey.
Have a great weekend!!!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Being Shown
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6 comments:
Wow! What a wonderful turn of events to be presented to a potential match! So thrilled to hear that things are looking so positive for you.
Our social worker was telling us that many expectant moms say that they "don't know" who the biological father is, because they don't want to get him involved in the decision making process, it is not because the moms are out there with a lot of different guys. That makes me feel so badly for these expectant moms! It is really a stressful situation for them too, I would imagine.
I hope that everything will go smoothly for you from here!!!
Keep us posted!!!!
I'm glad you guys are being presented. That is the first hurdle to get past - everything else can be hashed out later.
Fingers crossed!!!!
Yay for being presented!
I think this is the right thing to do....you never know what will happen, but you also will REALLY never know if you don't try.
You go girl! Keep that positive attitude. Don't quit. Never quit. I think I've said that before...haha! I'll be checking for an update!! :) :)
PS - if you can & want to, do all the research you can regarding the laws of Ohio. :)
Just wanted you to know that both of my adoptions have been "legal risk" because of birth fathers not signing TPR themselves - in both cases, bmoms said that the bfathers didn't want to be involved. Both adoptions were in Ohio an our agency told us the same that you've heard - that it is more common for bfathers either not to be named or to be named but not want to be involved in the adoption plan.
I hope it works out. And I think you have a good attitude. If it doesn't, you'll hurt and then you'll pick yourself back up again. You're a strong chickie.
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