I know I'm probably the last person in the infertility/adoption community to see this movie, but I've finally seen it! To be honest, I was really nervous about it. I'm sensitive to how adoption is portrayed, how birth families are portrayed, etc. that I was sure I'd hate it. I also heard that Jennifer Garner's portrayal of an adoptive mother was a bit over the top. I completely disagree. She was anxious and a bit clingy and wired, but I felt that way many times. And if I could've touched Autumn's belly to feel Lily kick, I totally would've! :)
Things I appreciated:
*Juno's humor. Not adoption or infertility related, but dang funny. I laughed out loud more than once.
*The fact that knowing the baby had fingernails made her rethink an abortion. Sometimes it really is the little things that move us.
*The truth of the martial tension between the adoptive couple. Not that we all have such differences, but the reality of many infertile situations includes some marital stress. Again, they ended up being on totally different wavelengths, but you know what they'd been through contributed. And it was heartbreaking hearing her talk about not having a baby shower because of the previous disappointment they'd suffered. BEEN THERE.
*The symbolism of the note Juno left being hung in a frame in the baby's room. It was where the "perfect" family picture was supposed to go. Sometimes our families aren't created the way we think they should be. Vanessa (the adoptive mother) ended up on her own with the baby, but her husband wasn't ready. You can't force anyone into adoption or into being ready for parenthood. I was so afraid he was going to "take one look" at the baby and then want to be a father. I was ready to be mad about that:)
*Juno's tears in the hospital. It was real. She was committed to the adoption. And I love that her father tells her she'll be back there someday on her own terms. But, it still hurt.
**Update: I just did some research and found that many birth families didn't like this movie at all. Now I feel guilty for posting so many positives about it. I guess my perspective is obviously different, but I didn't take it as really trivializing what Juno went through (the hospital scene in particular - this was a young woman who had shown no emotion in regard to placing. Autumn was like this with us. But, at actually going through with the placement, though she had no regrets, she was sad and did grieve.) I do wish that they would've shown more about the after effects. There's no way Juno would just go on about her merry way without ever thinking of the baby. Even though we haven't heard from Autumn, I know there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't think of Lily. And I know most birth mothers now don't want a closed adoption. But, again, I'm looking at it from our situation and in our situation, Autumn has chosen a closed situation. That wasn't something I wanted. Oh gosh, now I'm all nervous. Should I take this post down? I'm freaked.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Juno (spoilers)
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14 comments:
I liked the movie well enough.
There were things I thought were a little too old school and things I thought I'd like to see more of or farther into so that the movie was more accurate (like I didn't appreciate that they left it off all hunky dory and all was well and neither Juno or the boy (what was his name?) were disturbed at all. But all the things you said, I agree with.
Overall, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
Don't take your post down, I agreed with everything you said! I was surprised about how much I loved the movie as well. The realness at the end in Juno's tears was so moving. My mom and I were crying in the theater.
I saw the end as it showing a glimpse of what lies ahead. I saw what challenges lie ahead with Juno grieving (I guess I saw the end part as her and her boyfriend being there for each other), and the challenges that Vanessa will face as a single mom. I really enjoyed the movie, and I'm glad that you liked it too!
p.s. I'm jealous that you got to feel an earthquake - MN doesn't get too many (or any)!! It sounds dumb, but I've always wanted to experience one!
I don't think you should take your post down! I just watched Juno last night and I agreed with much of what you posted. While I thought that some of the movie was a bit unrealistic I thought that it did a better job of portraying the many facets of adoption then most movies do. I loved the note being framed also. It was touching.
I haven't seen it yet. Like you, I'm hyper sensitive and having already seen the uproar from most (not all) birth families, I am not sure I could just enjoy it for what it's meant to be - entertainment.
Don't take down the post - you are entitled to your own views and you should be proud of them. No two situations are alike and it sounds like some of the things in the movie are situations you have actually lived. Perhaps some people are unaware of those situations. And just because they are not the norm, doesn't mean they still don't exist.
We can all only write from our own point of view. And you are very much sensitive to and aware of all members of the triad on your blog and in your life from what I see.
Some birthmothers do still want closed adoptions. Some women are truly glad they placed their child. Not every birthmom spends the rest of her life angry. (Though I am also certain they never forget, but there is remembering in love and there is remembering in regret.) There will always be people who think they are speaking for everyone, but the truth is there are as many variations on the adopotion story as there are families living it.
IMHO, the adoption community as a whole needs to allow everyone their angst, their fear, their feelings and the right to express them. Good and Bad.
I enjoyed the movie. Moments in it did make me cringe, cry, laugh. I think the overall movie did more good than harm.
(Sorry, that got long!)
I think this is a great post! I did post about Juno on my blog, BUT I will add the disclaimer that I didn't actually see the movie and as soon as I heard about it I got all defensive and prickly becuase it was a movie about adoption.
I think that beagle is right. The online adoption community is large and we are all individuals. Your opinion is valuable and valid! One of the things that I don't like sometimes about some of the things I see on the internet is that it seems like there is one view of adoption and one right way to feel and if we don't fit in to that then we're wrong and bad (and that clearly goes way beyond this movie). The truth really is, that we are all entitled to our feelings. As long as we are compassionate and loving toward all members of the triad, I can't imagine what else there is.
Now I'm going to have to actually see this movie!
You should leave your post, it is your opinion and you should not have to feel bad about it. That is what blogging is all about your personal opinion.
I posted about the movie back in Jan when I saw it and I agree with you 100% I liked it for all the same reasons you did.
Everyone has a different prespective and opinion on things and all you were doing was sharing yours :)
Don't take this post down! You are posting your perspective as an adoptive mom. Of course others may have a different perspective, but they can put them on their own blogs. Believe me, I've learned this lesson this week! Thanks so much for your kind comments on my blog. I so appreciated it! And by the way, I agree with about Juno! We really enjoyed it, and in fact, my hubby just bought it for us last week.
I agree with your post too! And that you should leave it. My husband actually liked the movie better than I did but I also thought it was pretty darn good. Yes, it would have been better if they could have shown Juno not as "happy" afterwards but it did show her grieving and even though she is singing and playing her guitar at the end does not mean that she has forgotten the child she had given bith to. And I also did not see the adoptive mom as controlling and desperate, I saw a woman who knows that her dream may not come true, that has been hurt and wants to be a mom so badly. Great post! keep it up!
I totally think you should keep your post, it's your blog and those who disagree need to respect your opionion.
I haven't seen the movie yet, when it came out- I felt like my feelings toward my m/c were still too raw. Several months later, I think I'm now ready to watch the movie and totally appreciated your info about it. Weird (and I might have to dedicate a whole post to it) or oddly enough - I'm so looking forward to Baby Mama with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as I'm a huge fan of SNL.
Maybe because I can see the light at the end of the (adoption) tunnel, I'm ready to find something humourous about a subject that has been so depressing in my life.
Love the post - Looking forward to Juno (and Baby Mama)
K-
Thank you for your post about the movie Juno. I loved the movie and I was very touched by your description. I didn't like Jennifer Garner at first but she grew on me and I totally related to her character. I was a birth mother 21 years ago and now I'm in the process of adopting since I can't have children. Being on both sides of the fence, I related to all the characters in the movie. Don't remove your post. It's very good and it helped me to feel connected to someone who saw the good things about the movie. Thanks again. and by the way, your blog is very inspiring, especially what you shared about Autumn. It gives me hope that someday I will be chosen by a birthmother.
I just watched it as well!
(thanks to "on demand" from the comfort of my living room).
My emotions are still so raw from adopting our precious angel, I couldn't bear to actually walk into a theatre and watch it, with *other people around me!*
So...I forced my husband to pay the 4.99 to watch it with me last Friday night. I cried during the last half. It was so clear that Juno realized that it was hard. And it was hard watching Juno realize that her "perfect couple" were so deeply flawed. If people really watched the movie (the uninformed general public, that is), they would see adoption is not easy nor funny.
Honestly, I was surprised that Juno went ahead with "match" with Vanessa and Mark after they broke up. That just didn't seem "real" to me.
All in all, I liked it more than I thought I would, and I didn't cry *quite* as much as I thought I would.
I understand why some people, especially birth moms hated the movie. I did my fair share of "winching" but I surprised myself in liking parts of it.
I liked the movie pretty well. It was a little quirky.
I cried at the end and ended up cuddling LG for an hour afterwards even though it was WAY past his bedtime.
We haven't seen the movie yet but I wanted to just agree with those who said you should keep your post up. The adoption community is very diverse in our opinions...and personally I think that's a good thing.
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