As of today, no local hospitals have any records of Amanda. She is due in one week. I need input: how long after the due date do we hold out hope? She had an ultra sound very early, and doctors have told us that such an early ultrasound is probably very close to what her due date will be. What do you think?
I'm going to post something upbeat today. I want to focus on the positives in my life and things I'm excited about in the future. So, here it goes.
2. My mom has been out of town for nearly three weeks (in Hawaii, don't feel sad for her), and I've nearly gone crazy. We usually talk every day, and it's been TOUGH to not talk to her. She gets home today, and I can hardly wait.
3. Even if this adoption doesn't go through, I have a mini-break from work at the end of next week. I think I may extend it one day and have Friday-Tues. off. That will allow me a few days to heal and regroup if things don't work out.
4. I have a box of double chocolate brownie mix hiding in my kitchen cabinet. I've been saving it for quite some time. I may make them while my husband is working the next two nights. Do I have to share them with anyone? NO!
5. This morning while driving to work, I heard a DJ on the radio talking about her co-worker's wife. She is suffering from some odd heart issues and has had to go to the hospital multiple times in the past few days. He told her not to worry because "God's got it." It was so simple, but it was so profound for me this morning. My faith has been truly put to the test throughout this journey, but to remember that God "has it" and I don't need to worry puts me totally at ease. He knows where Amanda is right at this very moment, even though I don't. He knows what will happen, and I truly believe He will bring us the child we have been praying for, even if this baby is not that child. I am impatient and I don't WANT to wait (and nobody is allowed to remind me of this post the next time I'm feeling sorry for myself! :), but I have to give up some control and let God take it.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 27
10 comments:
I keep checking & checking & checking your blog. Love your attitude right now. I've been there, so I KNOW how NOT easy this is. Good job! I'll keep checking!
7 days must feel like 7 million. Stay strong. We are all pulling for things to work out as they should.
OK. This is just my opinion so take it for what it is worth. I wouldn't stick with her past her due date. I think I heard you say once that for you it was about self preservation at this point. I totally agree with you. This type of situation takes a toll on you emotionally and you need to direct your energy to something that will give you much needed HOPE again. Keep in mind that this is just my opinion since you asked for it:) I just hate that you are having to go through this! Hang in there!!!
I would be happy to give you our agency information if you are interested. They can usually match fairly quickly if you are non gender specific.
I think I agree with Laurie on this one - I wouldn't wait longer than the due date. As hard as it would be to let go, she is right, it's about self-preservation now.
Darn, this whole scenario just stinks. One big nasty smelly mess.
What is your agency saying about this?
Please keep us posted!
Are you locked in with your agency no matter what happens with this potential birth mom?
Thinking of you!!!
Thanks for all the support! Just a heads up on what our agency says: they are SURE she'll place. They think she's just "one of those birthmoms who doesn't want contact and who can't handle any of this until the baby is actually born." There is no way to know, though. We are NOT locked in with them, which is nice, but I just don't know HOW I'll go back to the waiting for a match time. It's just so tough!
Thanks so much for the support! And I WELCOME agency recs! :)
I read your blog all the time too, and I'm so sorry you're going through all this stress. I don't agree with the people who say to give up after the due date though. I don't know anyone who had their baby on the actual date, most were late, some by over a week. What happens if you give up on her due date and then she places? Do you lose your chance at that baby? If so I would suggest waiting another week or two after she's due, you've waited this long and it would be such a shame to give up when you're so close.
beautiful scripture and so appropriate
Checking in again to see if you had any news, and I saw your last comment.
I guess if the agency isn't worried about it, then that is a good sign. Obviously they are more familiar with what is "normal" in these situations.
I notice that you haven't posted anything new in a few days. I am SO SORRY you are going to this. I'll be sending you good vibes.
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