I am so ready for the weekend. I haven't posted updates because so much has changed and happened all week. After hearing we didn't make it in time to be presented to the little boy due soon, we had TWO more potential situations of babies already born that we were told about, but weren't able to be shown to. It has been horrible.
We're aren't working directly with one agency, which has it's upsides. Our profile is with multiple agencies, so we get shown more and we have more situations shown to us. BUT, our social workers at one agency (who were once so eager to help us) have seemed to really drop the ball lately. On these last two potential situations, she "didn't get the message" from the agency about the situations until the next day. PLEASE! I know people have lives outside my adoption, but in this business, waiting one more day means the world. Waiting one more day is the difference between us getting shown and us not getting shown.
I am a Christian woman. I believe in God and believe that Jesus is my Savior. I have a personal relationship with God, I pray, I go to church, and I try to serve others the way the Bible teaches. BUT, if one more person (no offense anyone, please...Mom, you're included in this!) tells me that God will bring us our baby in His time....or that God will open doors when He is ready...or that we must not be praying HARD ENOUGH (Yep, we've gotten that), I will kill someone. It doesn't help. It doesn't make me feel better that God hasn't "chosen" me to be a mother yet. Our last email from our social worker who did our homestudy told me not to get discouraged because God can open a window anytime and that it's all in His time. This from a woman who already has her babies at home.
WHAT are we doing wrong? Our profile is beautiful; you should see it! We look like the poster people for a great family. We're young, healthy, and completely in love with each other. We have a nice house in a great neighborhood. We're both teachers. We're open to any baby of any race. We've pushed and pushed ourselves financially to meet what seem to be the "going rates" for babies. I know all there is to do is wait. But, I hate it. I absolutely hate every second of this.
We're going to try to have a "date" weekend. We're going out for dinner and maybe a movie tonight (it's sad how exciting that is! :). I'm not going to clean the house, and I'm not going to grade any papers. I won't look at our Babies R Us registry, and I'm keeping the door to the nursery shut all weekend.
How much wine can I consume and still feel okay about going to church Sun. ? That's a joke, Mom....mostly. :)
Friday, March 2, 2007
How many more minutes of work?
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14 comments:
I SO know how you feel. I hate it when people point out the fact that God hasn't yet let us be parents yet. It was bad enough when I realized on my OWN that, duh, God wasn't not ABLE to do this for us, He just wasn't doing it.
And I mean, come ON. We're with you....young, happy, successful, etc....how much better could we MAKE ourselves? :p
The whole thing blows. Have a LOT of wine. :)
Awww, hang in there!! This is such a rollercoaster!
PS I have a quick question for ya if you could email me some time at prayingmiraclebaby@yahoo.com
thanks!
Ok, this is getting WAY frustrating. If "they" can't present your profile in time, for whatever reason, they need to stop telling you about all these potential situations. I fully understand it makes your heart hurt worse! I forget who you are working with, but they are really tee'ing me off. Why in the sam hills would anyone ask you if you would like to be presented, take the time to explain the entire potential situation to you, & then not get your profile shown in time? GRRRRR!! BS!!
And I totally & completely agree with the "on God's time" comment. Holy cow, I think I say it, & I swear to you I will never, & I mean never, say it again. It doesn't help. It doesn't make you feel better. It doesn't get you your baby any sooner. Start telling people to quit saying that to you!
I like Jess' comment "the whole thing blows". ROFL!!! And yes, go have a LOT of wine!
My new encouraging comment to you is - YES, it WILL happen.
Keep on searching!!!!
I can relate a lot to you. I'm also a Christian and a teacher and my husband and I are thinking of adopting. Any helpful websites/books? I don't even know where to begin with this....
Uh huh... well, if I wasn't miffed about your situation before, I sure as heck am now!
The agencies that have your info... is there any way to contact them directly, give them your specs and just tell them to present to anybody that meets those specs?? Jeez, you must be SO frustrated.
And I agree with Melissa - why the heck are you being told about "missed" opportunities! Your consultant must realize that makes you lose faith in her right? And if you lose faith, then she loses out on a client. Seems counter-productive to me.
Hope you have a good "date" night.
ARG! This must be so frustrating!!! The thing that sucks is that we all know it's in God's time that things happen, but it doesn't make it ANY EASIER!! My DH and I have been doing fertility treatments for over 2 years (we've just opened the door to considering adoption) and EVERYONE tells us that it will happen in God's time. I always say, "I totally believe that, but I don't want to hear it all the time". It seems to shut them up. Peace be with you on this crazy journey.
Good grief, hon. Been through the wringer much this week????
*HUG*
I am not religious, so I can say this unequivocally: I believe that the comment "God has a plan" is nothing more than an empty platitude. It makes it seem like it's YOUR problem for expecting too much. Bullshit! You have been through enough - I refuse to believe in a God who punishes you by doing things "on his own time."
Anyway. I really hope that you don't have to hear that any more. Let me know, I'll come kick some kneecaps. :)
Hang in there. Have a glass of wine and do something nice for yourself this weekend, sweetie.
katd, I am so sorry! I agree with Melissa, it sounds like who you are working with are less than on top of things!!! Is there an owner or someone that you can talk to about your disappointment in the way your social worker has handled the case? It seems like she has dropped the ball in more then one occasion! I am sorry but you are entiled to more than that!
I hate the God comment as well. Now that we have successfully been placed with our daughter, we get "So are you pregnant yet?" I know it happens but for goodness sake could you minimize my infertility struggles of the last 2 years anymore! I hate when people say, oh you adopted so now you are going to get pregnant!
I swear people really don't think before they talk!
Hang in there, we are all here for you
My heart goes out to you! This whole thing blows chunks! We had a romantic night last Saturday and it was wonderful to not talk about infertility or the adoption or children or starting a family or, or or.... We just drank a bottle of wine (not all at once, we went out to a BYOB restaurant), laughed, talked, and reconnected. Enjoy your weekend and each other.
If someone had said that "in God's time" to me during my wait... there would have been injuries. My therapist wanted me to close my eyes and say "At the right time, the right baby will come" over and over. Please. I should have done what my mother did. When she wrote a check for her "therapy," she wrote "Wasn't worth it" in the memo.
If you are open to a baby of any race, Shorstein & Kelly in Jax, Fl will match you with a bi-racial situation pronto. They are high volume. Contact me if you want more info. Pattighezzi@hotmail.com
Patti
http://redvelvetcake.typepad.com
Sweetie--I'm sorry. The waiting is so hard. You guys deserve an easy weekend. One where you focus solely on doing things that make you happy. Hang in there.
I wish you the best. It really makes me upset/sad that you are constantly being teased. I also am angry that you have had to put money into this and for people to 'forget' to do their job.
Do you just want any baby, or do you want it to be a good ethical situation? I'm not familiar with your blog, I've only read a couple of posts, but I'm interested. I'm just saying that maybe God has more for you in this than just getting a baby.
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