My heart is physically hurting right now. I was one of those pre-adoptive parents who thought they wanted nothing to do with a "birthmom." A called tonight to say goodbye because she leaves tomorrow morning to fly back home. I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself. She is the most amazing person I have ever known. I hate that I won't be able to talk with her anymore. We're sending pictures, and originally, she didn't want letters, but I hope that she'll read the ones I send the agency and respond. She said tonight that she would. Words are too trite to express the emotion I feel right now. For a few moments, I shared a beautiful daughter with her. She told me tonight she feels complete peace about her decision. She was honest about the pain, but she said the experience as a whole has been "one of life's great memories." I have tears literally rolling down my cheeks right now. I felt like blogging about it and having a record of how I feel and what this wonderful woman has done cements forever this second of my life.
I promise a detailed baby post soon (have I mentioned yet that this child is a genius?:) ), but for now I wanted to take a moment to celebrate and grieve for A.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Birth Mothers
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13 comments:
Beautiful post.
I agree.
Beautiful.
You are so fortunate to have been matched with such an amazing woman. She is also fortunate to have found such wonderful people to give her daughter a loving home.
I've been reading you for awhile but have never posted here. I'm an adult adoptee currently in reunion. I've found your blog interesting because I've seen your struggle with the adoption process. My heart has ached for you during your lows and rejoiced during the highs.
Your daughter is gorgeous. It must be an amazing feeling to have her in your arms.
Someone asked me my opinions the other day on adoption. I didn't know what to say. I have my own issues with my closed adoption, the not knowing being the hardest part, but I know that things are different now. I thought of you and I told her that adoption is a great thing when it is done ethically and under the right circumstances.
Thank you for writing this. And congratulations.
Wow. I hope that we also have such an amazing BM. It would make everything so much easier to have this connection. I know it doesn't always happen though and am trying to become ready for a less than ideal relationship. My one hope is that over time we can build a relationship of trust and respect. Sometimes you get lucky and it starts out amazing. You were lucky. Let's hope we are too.
It's wonderful to hear of this kind of outcome, and that the BM is such an amazing woman.
Your sweet spirit comes out in your posts. You seem to be an amazing woman, and I am so thankful to be able to read your blog and share your experiences.
I know exactly how you feel! We still keep in pretty good contact with our birthmother and father by e-mail. I really hope it continues, and when we have to travel to Texas for finalization at 6 months, I hope they will want to get together with us, if we all make the trip.
It is a special bond you have with them and until you have been through it you really don't fully understand it, your birthmother becomes family to you even if you don't stay in contact with them, it is just a special relationship.
I hope A does keep in contact with you. And if she doesn't you she will still always have a special place in your heart.
So how big was Lily when she was born?
It will be ok, & it will get easier. You will love A forever & you will never forget. Take time to grieve. You need to. Hang in there.
In our case, our birthmother wanted no contact before or after the adoption. Except right before she signed the papers when she said she just had to lay her eyes on us so she could feel peace in signing. I have never nor will I ever feel again the same kind of love that I felt for this woman as we stood hugging and crying in the waiting room of a hospital. Those few minutes that I had with her are priceless to me! My heart still breaks for her and I pray for her all the time. I really wish she wanted to maintain some form of a relationship but to her it is too difficult and I have to respect her wishes. I sent her a package through the agency and wrote a letter letting her know that if she ever changes her mind, we would love to keep in contact with her. We'll see what happens.
Laurie
((hugs)) I know it's an emotional time right now. A sounds amazing, and it's wonderful how well y'all got along....
((hugs))
beautiful post and said with such love for A. Both of you are amazing woman.
Beautiful post. What an emotional time!
Did your mom arrive in time for Easter?
What are ya'll doing for fun in utah?
When do you think you'll go home?!
What a wonderful post.
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