Friday, July 13, 2007

3:00 am feedings and being a mommy

I can't believe I haven't posted yet this month. I'm a bad blogger! :) Lily has been the world's best sleeper...until now. She's started getting up for a bottle again around 3:00 am and then going back to sleep until 9 or so. I'm not going to not feed her when she's crying and her little tummy rumbles when the food hits it. But, I feel like we're going backwards and starting "bad habits." Any advice? Anybody else have this happen around 4 months?

Also, in adoption-related news, even though Lily's birthfather is deceased, we had to have paternal rights relinquished (love the red tape!). We got a letter from our attorney today stating they have been. And we have our second post-placement on Monday. So, now all we have to do for finalization is wait for the six month waiting period to be over.

The real reason for this post, though, isn't 3:00am feedings. Lily laughed two days ago for the first time! And something unbelievable opened up in me. I've loved her and nurtured her and been her mom from day one, but this was different. Warning, I am about to get sappy and emotional. For all of you women out there who are waiting to be moms, I can't tell you enough how worth every single second of pain and heart break is. Anyone contemplating adoption who thinks, "Will I love this baby like my own?" You will. There is NO love like this. There is no way any person loves any other person more than I love my Lily. Some day you will either finally conceive your baby or you will be matched with the baby who is meant for you, and you will know. This journey is SO hard; it is the toughest thing most of us will ever endure. But, I would do every single thing the exact same way because it gave me Lily. When I was growing up, I always pictured my kids with blond straight hair...I guess because that's what I have. God blessed me with a dark, curly headed little girl that makes me smile and laugh and brings me more joy and hope and faith in Him and in the good in the world than I ever thought possible. If you're reading this and going through the pain of infertility, please take comfort that someday, even though you don't know when, you will have a little one who will laugh for the first time and will completely and utterly take over your entire heart...and house:)

10 comments:

Rachel said...

You are amazing. You are such a testiment of love and faith and courage! Thank you for sharing not only your beautiful emotions of being a mom, but that beautiful picture to go with it! She is just precious!!!!

DH and I are planning on adopting from Colombia if our IUI's fail (or later if we do get pg). The children from there are beautiful and darker (I'm also blonde, and he's got lighter brown hair) and I love that Lily is so striking!! Ss soon as I looked at the picture, I realized that's what our child will look like someday! (not that she's colombian...but darker)I can't wait for the day :-)

Melissa :) said...

She is soooooooooo adorable! And, a big AMEN girlfriend! :)

Rich Angie said...

Thanks for the hope...it makes it all worth it. I can't wait to hear that laugh!!

Maygy said...

Thank you for a beautiful post. It was just what I needed to hear today. What wonderful things to look forward to...

SJ said...

Great post! Your daughter is adorable :)

Jess said...

Agreed.

I always thought blonde hair, blue eyes. Ava has dark hair and eyes. But who cares? :)

Happy to hear you so happy!

GLouise said...

Your blog gives me such hope!

nickoletta100 said...

Thank you for this post. :)

beagle said...

What a beautiful post (and baby girl!)

Andrew & Laura said...

Your blog always makes me weepy! And you know, I was supposed to have a little girl with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. And as I type this, my blue-eyed redhead is in the other room napping away. I guess it's just proof that God knows what best for us, and the sooner we learn to stay out of His way, the happier we'll be!